#Jealous

July 25, 2017
Jealousy has always come natural to me. I just had so much to be jealous of as a child. Throughout my youth, I was a humbled member of the underprivileged. You know when well off families pray at dinner and say Lord please bless the misfortunate? Yeah, thank you for those prayers…They were much needed and appreciated.

At any rate, it seemed to be so much to envy when I was younger: girls who had longer hair, kids who were able to wear new clothes, families that took vacations, people who had pantries full of food, kids that could participate in sports, the list goes on and on. It became a spiritual culture for me. There was so much I didn't have and it appeared that "everyone else" had it. They had it and I wanted it.

Nevertheless, I worked hard and it paid off. My season had finally come. But, I was not able to fully enjoy it with the ones I loved the most.
Family would come up with things to "fall out" with me over. They wanted to cut me off so that they wouldn't have to witness my accomplishments. Unable to resist the urge to compare our lives and gather their individual motivation to personal achievement. On the contrary, they stayed close enough to gaze at my hopeful demise. Have you ever been there?

A wise woman sat with me once to hear of my success and afterwards said, "I won't say I'm jealous of you, rather I say 'I'm happy for you'." She blew me away. That's what I've been wanting and needing to hear for so long; for someone to say, "I'm happy for you". No strings attached. No ulterior motives, just someone to be genuinely happy for me. I in-turn, have learned to do the same: to be happy for others. In doing so, I have single-handedly dismantled the culture of jealousy from within.

*excerpt from my upcoming memoir #TestimonyTuesday: Keeping it Real Because Fake Never Helped Anyone
To be released 11.11.17💗💛