Men Don’t Flirt with Me

This morning like every morning. I woke up and got my children ready for school. Usually, my husband and I rush into the day’s activities, but this morning we embraced each other in anticipation for our upcoming #baecation.

His touch changed my entire morning. I decided that today I would pull out a really nice dress to wear to work and put on a slight beat (make-up). I want to look good for my man.

Before I head to work I stop to get a cup of coffee, looking my very best and other men didn’t give me a second look.

This is true for most days. Even on date nights when I have the best MUA this side of the Pacific Ocean give me a real nice beat be-beat, beat, beat, put on my most flattering LBD and my favorite pair of red bottoms; men do not try to capture my attention or let me know that I caught theirs’.

Is it because I’m unattractive? That couldn’t be further from the truth and I never gave it much thought until it was mentioned in a recent study that we are doing called the Sacred Marriage.

In one of the sessions, Gary Thomas talks about how a woman can leak the intimacy out of her marriage by gaining gratification from other men.

To me, my husband’s attention is the only man’s attention I crave. I want to be fit for him. I want to wear what peaks his interest. Everything about the way I adorn myself is for my husband. As put together as I am, to other men I am seemingly invisible.

“Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”- Matt. 19:6 NLT

I carry a certain air about myself that says, “I’m spoken for. I’m a married woman. The man that I am married to commands the respect of his bride by others.” Men don’t flirt with me out of the respect that I not only have for myself but also my husband.

This doesn’t happen when I’m holding on to the robust arm of my towering groom but when I’m alone in the market or simply getting a cup of coffee. There is nothing about my spirit that is inviting to other men in a sexual way. (Now sometimes people can mistake the anointing for something else, but I’ll save that for another post.)

Being completely transparent, men didn’t flirt much with me when I was single. That’s when my insecurities really started to show. There was a point where I even started to go out of my way to gain the attention of men and it didn’t happen. God spoke to me, “I am covering you for your husband.” I remember thinking, “Husband? What husband? And wherever he is, he needs to hurry up and get here.”

Over the years I have ran into many single sisters in the church that have experienced this same thing and they like myself had questioned their attractiveness. However, this covering has nothing to do with attractiveness but God’s protection. He is literally shielding and protecting them from falling into the wrong relationship. Protecting them from being misused and mistreated by a man who God has not destined for them to spend the rest of their life with.

In due time, God uncovered me and a man did flirt with me. I was so unfamiliar with it I almost missed out on my blessing. You can read how I met my husband in my “Cinderella” book here. The sweetest part of my story is when my husband saw me, he knew I was his wife. God presented me to him in the same way he presented Eve to Adam. It was worth the wait and I value God’s covering that continues to this day.