Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child…

Spare the rod spoil the child...

Spare the rod spoil the child…

Spare the rod, spoil the child has become synonymous to I love you. Often times it’s sadly being used as justification for abuse. My heart aches when I read a parent bragging about disciplining their child on social media, using words like “I wore him/her out.” It aches even more when I read the comment “I beat them now so the cops won’t beat them later.” Yet statistics show, over half of the men in correctional populations suffered childhood abused and identified parents or guardians as abusers.Even more so, childhood abuse can result in adult experience of shame, flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, depression,alcohol and drug use, feelings of humiliation and unworthiness, ugliness and profound terror.

If that doesn’t move you enough and you think it’s not that bad. Adults abused during childhood are:
– more than twice as likely to have at least one lifetime psychiatric diagnosis
– almost three times as likely to have an affective disorder
– almost three times as likely to have an anxiety disorder
– almost 2 ½ times as likely to have phobias
– over ten times as likely to have a panic disorder
– almost four times as likely to have an antisocial personality disorder

And you wonder why that man you are dating or married to is hopelessly insecure, fearful or has a strange anger streak. Or you can’t figure out why you haven’t settled down, why your relationship keeps hitting brick walls, why you keep pushing people who genuinely love you, even your spouse, away?

“There is a fine line between discipline and abuse,” some say. But I disagree. There does not have to be the death of discipline to avoid death by discipline. Parents should set firm guidelines and have a serious talk about discipline.

Spare the rod, spoil the child is always in the spotlight when there’s a talk of discipline but one important aspect of raising children is always left out…
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

This scripture particularly calls out the FATHERS. Why??? They are usually the administers of discipline in two-parent homes. Or the one feared the most when it comes to discipline. The very statement, “Wait until your father gets home,” will send chills down a child’s spine. Furthermore, I believe that the father is the main person in the family unit that could either help or hinder the way a child views their relationship with God. Being that God is our HEAVENLY Father. We look to our physical fathers as an example and expectation of the father-child relationship with God. If our physical father abused us, we expect the same treatment from God. The moment we make a mistake, we have an ever looming fear that God will quickly and severely punish us. Or, if our fathers abandoned us, we believe that it is only a matter of time before God, our Heavenly Father does the same. Men play an important and deep role in the lives of their children.

Discipline without relationship equals rebellion. Your children, as much as you love them, can work a nerve like no other at times. And get into mischief that they truly weren’t raised to be involved in. The Bible is true and follow the Lords guidance. But I recognize that there is a broad line between discipline and abuse. I have promised God to never cross it. But to raised a well-rounded young man who will one day pass these same practices down to his own family.